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Having difficult conversations

Two women in hijabs sitting at a desk having a serious conversation
Having difficult conversations, title slide
Having difficult conversations, slide 2 of 9: introduction
Having difficult conversations, slide 3 of 9: Open the lines of communication
Having difficult conversations, slide 4 of 9: Outline what you'd like to gain from the conversation
Having difficult conversations, slide 5 of 9: Set some ground rules for each other
Having difficult conversations, slide 6 of 9: Use active listening and empathy
Having difficult conversations, slide 7 of 9: Accept that you may be wrong
Having difficult conversations, slide 8 of 9: Understand that the conversation may not have your desired ending
Having difficult conversations, slide 9 of 9: recap of all six steps

It’s usually easier to ignore conflict than address it. However, refusing to acknowledge an ongoing issue can result in a much bigger problem. The most important thing to remember is to have clear and open communication. Here are some tips on how to ease into difficult conversations.

Open the lines of communication

Discuss with the other party how best to tackle the conversation. This allows you both to be in agreement and begin from an even playing field.

Outline what you’d like to gain from the conversation

It’s important for you to outline your intentions and be honest with yourself. Are you having this conversation to make the other person feel bad? Would having this conversation allow both parties to reach an understanding?

Set some ground rules for each other

When having a difficult conversation, it is easy for emotions to take over. You can set rules for your situation, such as only one person speaking at a time, or no raised voices. The important thing is to remain respectful.

Use active listening and empathy

It can be difficult to listen to someone else’s side of the situation, especially when you believe you’re right. Allowing each other to listen to your respective perspectives can help you understand how the other person feels. Tip: active listening can include paraphrasing, which ensures that you are understanding and communicating effectively.

Accept that you may be wrong

Difficult conversations don’t always end the way you want them to. Perhaps you did something to hurt the other party that you didn’t acknowledge. Validate each other’s feelings, and apologise when necessary.

Understand that the conversation may not have your desired ending

You may need to speak again another time or take a break before continuing the conversation. It’s important to remain patient, especially if your end goal is reconciliation.

If the conversation you are dreading is with family, or it touches on faith, culture or something you have never said out loud, you can talk it through with us first. The Muslim Youth Helpline is free and confidential, open every day from 4pm to 10pm on 0808 808 2008. You can also chat with us online or email us.