Dealing with mental health can be difficult, especially when trying to approach it with those who are close to us. We may feel judged, vulnerable and even ashamed at times. As a result, we often stray away from talking about it, with some bottling it up, withdrawing, or trying to act as normal as possible.
The truth is, you are not alone in dealing with mental health. In fact, you may find that sharing your experience with friends and loved ones can be freeing. In sha Allah, this blog should give you some ideas on approaching the subject with your friends and loved ones.
Firstly, let us consider our circle of friends and loved ones. As we are all aware, everyone is different. This means everyone has their own mindset, beliefs, and understandings, not to mention how complex each relationship may be. It is therefore important to tailor our approach to individuals rather than try to find one approach that fits all.
When it comes to mental health, there still exists a stigma that surrounds it. While many acknowledge disorders like depression and anxiety, others may be less understanding of other mental health conditions. The last thing you want to do is throw yourself in hot water and get burnt by people’s attitudes and wordings of things, such as “it’s all in your head” or “you need to increase your iman (faith).” Therefore, choose how and what you want to say.
Choosing your language is very important. Words like ‘depression’ may not exist in every language. You might want to keep it simple by explaining your mood, symptoms, and how it impacts your life. For example, you can share that you aren’t feeling your best, so it may take some time to reply. Remember, it is your final say on who gets to know what! And you certainly don’t owe anyone an explanation of your deeper feelings if you don’t want to. It’s all about what makes you feel sound and supported.
Secondly, you need to ensure the way you share is manageable. You could weigh out your strengths and do what is within your limits. However, remember a little discomfort is also not harmful and shows growth. For example, you may feel comfortable writing a letter, but maybe reading it out instead of waiting for someone to read it will reduce anxiety. The reading may make you uncomfortable, but at least it allows you to control the pace and the narrative, while also building your confidence.
Other methods could be messaging over texts in the comfort of a location you feel secure in, like your room, or in a park where you can expose yourself to the serenity of nature. You could also directly go to your friends and loved ones and ask them to talk and speak freely. However, you are the only one who knows what is best for your situation. It does not have to be stressful, challenging and overwhelming.
Lastly, when you approach the topic with your friends and loved ones, remember you’re always in control. Mental health means different things for everyone, which means that sometimes you may get advice or tips that may or may not work. In the event that the advice is harmful to you, do set boundaries and ensure you get the support you deserve. It might be helpful to make a list of things they can do to help you rather than leaving them to wonder how they can help you.
I hope these tips give you a good starting point for discussing mental health with friends and loved ones. Now, if for any reason you are still stuck, do not fear. Consider getting a therapist who can give you one-to-one support, or contact our helpline, where you can discuss your feelings with us.
Jazallah Khair, thank you for reading, and may Allah make it easy, Ameen.
Written by: A Helpline Volunteer