Grief is a very heavy process on the self, especially when grieving the loss of someone we
love.
The loss of someone you love can feel as though a piece of your heart has been ripped away. One oscillates between emotions on different sides of the spectrum. I would describe it as a dance between gratitude and heartbreak, fluctuation between happiness of what was and sadness of what is.
Grief doesn’t give you the option of choosing when the emotions will rise to the surface,
however we can learn to manage them better. It is important to sit with the feelings present
and experience them. The heaviness of grief if it is not given the attention and space it
needs, can bleed into your day and leave you feeling discombobulated. Ritualise your grief and allow yourself to truthfully and compassionately honour this process.
Choose a time and create the right environment
One of the best outlets for emotions is through creative means. Find a tool to express yourself whether it be writing, drawing, painting, playing an instrument, or however you choose to express yourself.
Looking at photos of your loved one can remind you of all the beautiful memories you share. Seeing all the moments captured of their wonderful life can help soothe the heart and to cherish the life they lived.
Although the emotions of grief are uncertain and arise unexpectedly, choose to honour them at a time that is suitable for you. If we continue with our daily lives without dealing with our grief, it can bleed into the other aspects of our lives, thus not allowing us to function.
Choose an environment you feel safe in and where you feel you can be yourself completely.
When we grieve those we love, we realise we are experiencing a love for them which we can give, but can longer receive.
Grieve collectively with your loved ones
Ritualising your grief in your own company is important, however, remember that there are others who also loved that individual, thus grieving collectively can bring healing. Allow yourself to be witnessed by your community.
Sharing memories and stories together of the one whom you love helps to honour their memory. Further, having your emotions witnessed can aid you in feeling safe with such unknown or difficult emotions. Grieving with your community will ensure you are not alone during this process, and can empower you and lift your spirits, despite what you are experiencing. and acceptance of your community is important that you are still enough as you are despite all that you are experiencing.
My name is Bilal Pilgrim, I am a 21-year-old Muslim from Birmingham. I have a huge passion for writing, especially poetry. I am a blogger for MYH. For me writing is a tool for expression, expressing the sensations of the heart and the whispers of my soul. Currently, I am studying psychology and philosophy at Keele University with aspirations of becoming a psychotherapist.